The Burger Tour Goes Upscale at M:BRGR

Although our focus has always been on burger joints, we can't ignore the huge and hot injection of upscale beef bars popping up around Toronto. We decided to bite the bullet, and the beef, and head to the newly opened M:BRGR, an import from Montreal. It was a frigidly cold February night and we took our massive hibernation appetites to King St. West and Spadina. M:BRGR is an enormous place that resembles a nicely decorated cafeteria. It's a great looking place, at the same time warm and modern, with huge cityscapes being overrun with the occasional great ape or dinosaur. Attractive and friendly staff are everywhere. This place has a hostess and table service - not your average diner-style burger joint.
The menu was extensive, with many things going on besides burgers! Steak and frites, sandwiches, mac and cheese! They even have a $100 burger featuring fois gras and truffle. Sadly, this is out of the burger crew's league. The drink menu is also extensive, with beer, wine, cocktails, as well as sparkling lemonade, and black cherry soda.
Our friendly American-import server was full of helpful suggestions and upsells, not that it took much prodding. Why not get the fry basket featuring regular, sweet potato and fried onion strips? Why not!! Why not try the 3 sauce combo of horseradish-mayo, curry mayo and 'fancy sauce' (which is basically mayo, ketchup and mustard). Indeed! Why not!! Why not get an order of the Mac & Cheese with crumbled chips on top, to share? Yes! Sounds great!
Starting with the starters seems logical. The fries were great - crispy, not too big, not too small. The skinny little fried onions were amazing! I do think the fry basket is only shareable between two, however. Any more than that and someone won't get a fair shake (but more on shakes later). As for the Mac & Cheese; all I can say is OH MY GOD. It was so good. I don't know what kind of wacky cheese that was, but it left a warm and gooey sensation in my mouth that doesn't happen every day. And the potato chip crust!? Say no more. I would come back just for this! The horseradish sauce needed more zing but the curry mayo was nice, though not my fave spice for a burger or fry dip. Fancy sauce isn't all that.
On to the meat of the matter. All burgs come with lettuce, pickles, tomato and onion for free. Anything beyond that, and be prepared to pay! We'll start with Hamburglar. He ordered an organic beef burger with buffalo mozza, and the basic garnishes. Later, he would rue the rejection of bacon. Hamburglar loved his burger. Loved the cheese, loved the non-gamey beef, enjoyed the bun and the basic toppings. The Burglar is always generous with his ratings and tends to blow his load on the beefy flavour of the day. He gave his burger a 9, but we've seen that from him before.
On to Small Fry. The Fry is an integral part of the burger crew because he always goes for the basic, and what better way to judge a joint than on the purity of it's burger and fries. The Fry is also extremely particular and doesn't suffer poor food gladly. He ordered The Little Big Zak, composed of 1 AAA patty, cheddar,spicy fancy sauce, chopped onions, pickle, tomato and lettuce. The Fry was unimpressed. His burger and cheese were both cold. He is extremely picky about having a big, white and fluffy bun, and this left him cold. His burger was okay, but again, unimpressive. Sadly, he only scored his burger a 5. However, he loved the sides and the atmosphere, and said he would gladly return, especially for a stab at the steak and frites.
Burgermeister and myself had almost identical orders, with apple-smoked bacon (awesome!), smoked gouda (yum!) on whole wheat buns. The Meister went for organic beef and said it was excellent, as was my AAA. We both slathered the horseradish-mayo on it, but it's missing the zing. Our buns were both fine; all agree that it wouldn't kill them to heat them up a bit, but mine seemed hot enough next to the beef. I also had carmelized onions which were nicely done. WE each scored our beefs as 8. We both felt that the beef, although tasty, was missing something.

Because of the extensive and intriguing menu, we opted for dessert. This was a huge decision in of itself. With the choice of a deep dish chocolate chip cookie topped with vanilla ice-cream, a trifecta of cupcakes, and floats and shakes, how does one decide? We opted to share the chocolate cake with a shot of milk, and split two milkshakes. The cake was delicious, however, the Fry raised his persnickity head and said he felt staleness on the bottom layer. Sadly, we all had to agree that it seemed as if perhaps the outer slab had been exposed to air and become a bit crusty in one spot. The rest of the cake was superb - rich, dark and moist. Dare I say 'moisty'. The shot of milk was a cute touch as well. Our milkshake choices were vanille/caramel and me and the fry were excited to try the Cotton Candy, one of only about 3 people to ever order it. We were super-psyched to find out it had real cotton candy in it. The shakes were huge and dripping over with thick sloppy ice-cream. Meister enjoyed the vanilla/caramel but Hamburglar declared it was just vanilla, no caramel. Small Fry & I were seriously disappointed in the Cotton Candy. Being a connoisseur of all things sugary, the Fry would live on bubble tape if his teeth allowed. Although the shake had the beautiful blue hue of a stick of cotton candy, it was utterly flavourless, except for the vanilla ice-cream. The best part was the poof of real blue cotton candy on the end of the straw, which Small Fry scarfed down like a raccoon in a Burger King dumpster. We were honest with the server, and to their credit, they took the shake off the bill.
Speaking of the bill...YIKES! This place is no value menu combo. The most regulary priced item was the beer. Toppings were a minimum of $1.50 each, with cheese ringing in at a hefty $2.50. And bacon!? Don't even talk about it. They even have a menu of really expensive toppings, including the fois gras. Fancy sody-pops were also crazy-priced. Your basic burger was $12, so you're looking at a $20 sandwich by the time you add on. The Lil' Zak was only $9.95, but again, it was not well received.
In summary, we all enjoyed the atmosphere but had mixed feelings about the burgers. The sides and other meal options were excellent and we all agreed we'd like to return to try other things, and more mac & cheese. I was looking for orgasmic, and I got 'meh'. I want to feel the way my hero, Adam Richman from Man Vs. Food feels when he bites into whatever that is at the begining of the show where he says "Oh my goodness, OH MY GOODNESS!" Are we just cro-magnons in a filet mignon world? Is it wrong to enjoy a traditional back-yard BBQ burger with simple salt & pepper and steak spice seasoning?
Burgermeister put it so well when he said, "It was not the sum of its parts." Everything was good, and together, it should have been amazing; but it wasn't. We'll go back, but not for burgers.

Oh Boy. Flippin' Good but a return visit needed!

Today Pickles had a special guest on her burger tour. Claes Oldenburger was available and as a connoisseur of all things greasy, I decided he would be a fine addition to the tour. We struck out for Oh Boy Burger Market on Queen St. West, an establishment I'd read many a review of, mostly favourable.

The interior of OBBM was warm and diner-ish, with big red vinyl booths and cozy barn wood walls. Although the website makes it look a bit like Hooters, this was not the reality. Our server was friendly and chatty, and not at all a big-bosomed seductress. She immediately offered coffee or tea to warm us up as it was a chilly January day.

Claus B. was quick to get the combo of Cameron's beer, the classic burger, adding bacon, and fries. I also went for the Classic, but added swiss cheese with a side of onion rings. We also ordered deep fried pickles.

Starting with the all-important burger, we both agreed that it was very meaty, and dense. I actually couldn't finish all of mine. They were very tasty, but a bit dry. Claes found the bacon extremely tasty but not overpowering. My cheese was likewise generous but not overdone. I did question the existence of the garlic-mayo spread. I tasted mayo but no garlic.

Now, I realize that a bun is a very personal thing. I prefer the bun to be barely existent, basically a small barrier between my fingers and the meat, others (like Small Fry) like a huge fluffy bun. This bun was huge and fluffy - too much for me, but fresh and tasty. How would Small Fry feel about this bun? I'm not sure.

Claes' fries only rated a 6 out of 10. Although they were real potatoes, and generous, he said they were undercooked. The onion rings, however, were very good. We both felt that they did a good batter. Also, the rings maintained their onion-ness and firm texture inside the batter.

The biggest hit were the deep fried pickles. Once again, a good batter, 5 pickle spears, served piping hot (all the food was served hot), with dipping mayo (garlic? not sure). The batter was crisp and so were the pickles. These were a great success and deemed 'excellent'.
The condiments were extremely basic - mustard (which had gone empty) and ketchup, along with the lettuce, onion and tomato. I did notice dipping sauces for $1 on the menu and I guess these could be used on the burger as well. The website menu looked a lot more extensive than the one at the restaurant.
Drinks were basic. The usual selection of pop, but milkshakes as well, and it was licensed under LLbO.
The atmosphere was fine but they were clearly understaffed for lunch hour. We saw two people leave because they weren't served or acknowledged as they sat for a few minutes unnoticed. Our server was very nice and clearly trying to keep up. As we weren't in a rush, it wasn't an issue.
Also, the burgers were served on those tin trays that are becoming favoured in these joints. The place itself is actually nice and these gave it a cheesy quality. The tray is lined in trad looking black and white checkered paper, and Claes didn't like how the food touched the side of the trays. It had the feeling of the tray being re-used but not washed. This was just an impression, and probably not reality, but would it kill them to use a plate or cover the tray completely?

A couple of other things I noted: On the website it shows Hand Made Artisan Ice Cream. I saw our server running by with a tub of Breyers.

I realized all too late that they have a corn-dog on the menu, called a Coney Island dog. I have always maintained that the corn-dog is un-nature's perfect food. I realize this is a burger tour so I suppose it's best that I had the burger. This only means that a return trip is needed to experience the corn-dog and another round of deep fried pickles.

I can probably only give Oh Boy a 6.5 out of 10 for now, as far as the burger tour goes. It really couldn't compare to some of the other tour stops. However, I will be back for the pickle spears and corn-dog.

www.ohboyburger.com

The Church Key

Tired of waiting for her burger-lovin' pals, Pickles struck out on her own. Burgers wait for no one! A family visit took me off the beaten path to London, Ontario. London seems to swing between roadhouse chain restaurants like Casey's and Jack Astor's, to upscale fine dining on Richmond Row. I had heard from Burger-Mamma a fine burger was to be had at The Church Key, a small downstairs pub directly across from the Grand Theatre. The pub itself is warm and cozy, with brick walls and large windows. The smell of something good lures you in for a pint or glass of wine. Although I was tempted by the daily special of rabbit masala, I was on a burger mission.


I realize that this isn't a so-called burger joint, and I've strayed away from our usual path, but I felt I had to include this burger. It was simply delicious. The generous meat was moist and perfectly done, meaning not over and not under. The toppings were stilton, organic arugula, carmelized onion, and tomato jam. This combo was delicious. The tartness of the stilton melded perfectly with the sweetness of the onion, the slightly bitter arugula and then a little kick from tomato jam, which was like a slightly sweeter tomato paste. The ultimate winning item, however, was the bun. It was meltably soft and fit the burger perfectly. There was no question of leaving the bun butt (where you hold on to your burger) - that would mean leaving some of the sandwich itself.


The fries were fresh cut, delicious and hot. Although there was no sweet potato option, our server explained that most places serve frozen sweet potato fries and they didn't want to do them if they couldn't do them right.


If you are ever in the London area, hit Richmond St., between Queens Ave and Dufferin on the east side. There you'll find one of the best burgers I've ever experienced.

www.thechurchkey.ca

The Burger Shoppe on Ossington

I never knew this great little stretch of funky shops and cafes existed down Ossington Avenue. Just south of Dundas is one of several Burger Shoppe locations in Toronto. This location features a great patio, high ceilings inside, and natural wood finishes. Some of my fellow meat-eaters had tried the location at Queen and Broadview, to rave reviews. It was a beautiful day when we went to the Ossington location, so we sat on the patio. One bonus was the selection of micro brewery beers with great names like Big Wheel.

We were able to choose our style of beef from chuck, angus or sirloin, apparently ground on the premises and priced accordingly. This differentiation may or may not have come into play later.

Hamburglar went for the Banquet burger, a classic cheddar and bacon, with chuck. He gave it an 8 out of 10 but still prefers Craft Burger. Small Fry also went for the Banquet, but said his was cold in the middle. Although he said the taste was good, he prefers South Street's burger, giving this a 7.5.
Pickles here went for the Shoppe, ground chuck. It was awesome, done medium, with carmelized onion and horse radish. Why in heaven's name I never thought of putting horseradish on a burger before, I'll never understand! The garlic aioli was deliciously drippy. I'd give it a 9/10.

Burgermeister went for the Sirloin B&B (blue cheese, bacon, red onion & dijon). He gave this a 9.5 due to it's steak-like flavour. Words like "outstanding" and "sirloin-y" dripped from his mouth when he wasn't stuffing it with more beef. The whole grain bun was a 10 on its own.

Other adjectives bandied about during our meal were delectable, stuffed-inducing, classy and like a 3D movie experience. We all agreed the ingredients were clearly of high quality and worth the slightly higher price.

On to the sides. We ordered fries, onion rings and poutine. The fries were great, and we all scored them at 9. The onion rings were just ok. Although they were big and clearly hand-made, they lacked flavour. The poutine was gloriously lumpy and full of delicious globs.

We had an amazing dessert of creme brulee, that tasted like it had little caramels on top. Even the usual grumpy Small Fry gave it a perfect "10" saying he'd return just for this!

The service was friendly and casual. Our server was great at making recommendations and describing the food and beer. We had a tippy table, which was annoying, but our server tried hard to even it out for us. Ultimately it was a great evening on the patio and I would've been happy eating my way through the menu if I hadn't been so sated. Also, they were dog-friendly and had no issue with our little furry friend leashed just on the other side of us on the patio.

Unfortunately I do have to mention one disparaging side effect that struck all but one. The three of us who ordered 'chuck' for our burgers suffered 'the trots' shortly thereafter. It was swift and thorough. I would have chocked (or chucked) it up to something else, but since three quarters of us suffered the same thing, Small Fry felt it would be misleading not to mention it. However, Burgermeister had no ill effects from his sirloin. This wouldn't stop me from going again, but I think I would upgrade to either Angus or Sirloin next time.

I should also mention that the menu varies slightly from each location, so check it out first. I'm sure the experience will be memorable no matter which one you choose.

http://www.theburgershoppe.com/

On the road again at Craft Burger

Finally I was able to get at least 3 of the burger buddies together again for a feeding. Sadly, Small Fry was stuck at work, but Burgermeister, Hamburglar and myself, Pickles were up for another leg of our journey.
This tour tour took us to Craft Burger on Yonge St., just north of Bloor across from the Reference Library.
Upon entering, the decor is nice. Dark wood panels gives the feel of an old church or school house. Maybe that doesn't sound too appetizing but it's relaxing and warm. We could see the food was served on rectangular tin trays, which made me think a bit of prison, but in a romantic kind of "Johnny Cash" way.
First I'd like to say that the staff were excellent. Our server told us that the beef was fresh Ontario AAA ground chuck, grass fed, from somewhere near Bolton, and the burgers were handcrafted one at a time. They have a good system, where you go to the counter and order, and you place your number on your table, where a server/runner brings it by when it's ready.
Burgermeister is a sucker for blue cheese so he went right for the Craft Blue. He gave it a high rating of 8.5. All agreed that the fries were really good, though greasy. But that's what makes them good!
Hamburglar had the classic burger but added avocado. He loved this burger and gave it a 9.5, not worrying a bit about blowing his whole rating system on one burger, so early in the tour.
I went for the Craft Spicy which was very tasty, though not that spicy. I can't fault it for much though, as it was thick and juicy, and just plain delicious. I was sorely tempted by the Lamb Burger, but that'll have to wait until next time. I also went for the onion rings, which were basic, but good. I think next time I'd go for the fries, as it's hard to find good fries these days and these were bonafide.
They also offer poutine or mixed greens.

After our meal we decided to go for the Old-fashioned shakes. They were thick and delicious and they served them with the big tin mixing cup so you get every drop. Our server also treated us to one of their oatmeal chocolate chunk with toffee crunch cookies. It was heavenly.
Another offering on the drinks menu was Boylan's soda. I love this stuff, so we each had one. Our only problem (and seriously, the only one!) was that the soda was a bit warm.
They didn't have a ton of toppings, not even bacon(!), but with the basics plus a few delicious (but pricey at $1.25) options, like carmelized onions, mushrooms, and roasted red peppers, I can't say I really missed anything.
Overall we ended up with an average rating of about 8.25, with Hamburglar topping out at 9. Craft Burger isn't cheap, but it was delicious and the portions were good.
This place is definitely worth another visit.

You don't have to be a Bison to Stampede to this Grill!

With my burger buddies away camping, Pickles was left on her own to continue her beefy journey. Since it's difficult to convince downtowners to journey anywhere past Bathurst, I figured this was a good opportunity to experience the Stampede Bison Grill, located in Parkdale on Brock Street, just north of Queen and conveniently located next to the LCBO. I've passed by the Grill's patio many times and it always seems to be thriving. The other day they even had a couple of musicians entertaining the diners. It's a funky, bright and inviting patio.
Since there was only one of me, I can only comment on the menu and what I had. The menu was big and varied with a lot of toppings, sides, and fresh squeezed lemonade or hand scooped shakes.
They have a good base menu, of bison, beef, chicken, veggie, club or roast bison. Toppings are plentiful and divided by price, from free to 95 cents. At the .95 level, they have bacon, avocado, sauteed mushrooms or onions, cheddar or goat cheese. I would have liked a few more cheese options but you can get an onion ring on your burger too. I think .95 is a bit steep for avocado.
Sides are the usual that most burger joints are offering: fries, onion rings, sweet potato fries and poutine.
I went for the bison burger and really enjoyed it. It was tender and juicy, perfectly done with a wee bit of pink in the middle. The sweet potato fries were nicely done, but they were the typical fries that everywhere seems to be serving. The fresh-squeezed lemonade was a nice touch.
One drawback is the long wait time and seemingly disorganized (however friendly) counter staff. Perhaps turnover is big, but it seemed like everyone was going through training, and I've heard this from other visitors as well. Patrons were coming back in from the patio asking if they'd been called yet.
A bonus is that it's licensed, and they have a decent patio.
I would definitely like the return with the entire burger pack and enjoy the patio while trying a few more options.
All in all I'd give the Bison an almost 8, or a big MMM. I preferred it to Hero, for sure, but also probably for the neighbourhood atmosphere.

The Conquering Hero

The Burger pack had all tried Hero Burger at various times and experienced various stages of satisfaction. Much of the success seems to depend upon the location. Hamburglar was vehemently not a fan and leery to try again, however I had always had great experiences at my First Canadian Place location. In fact, I was always the envy of the lunch room crowd with my thick juicy burger, dripping with burger goo, and yummy fresh cut fries. Burgermeister and I had both tried the Toronto General Hospital location and it was definitely lacking. Perhaps it's the 'hospital smell' that doesn't go with burger, but our separate experiences at this locale left us with a dry burger and blah tastebuds; however, very nice counter staff.

Burgermeister and I tried the Church St. location. Both of us had a good experience here, however the counter staff is infamously unpleasant. They're not downright rude, they just look like they'd rather be somewhere else. We both were perfectly satisfied with our meals. What I do like about Hero is the plethora of toppings available, including different kinds of cheese, and the option of a whole wheat or thin bun. They also have good basic sides, like fries, onion rings or poutine. They also carry fresh made milkshakes. I'm always a sucker for this! The burgers are fresh and juicy, and the Hero sauce is very nice. Burgermeister had a Canadian version, which includes Bacon, cheddar and Hero sauce. He was very happy with this combo.

All in all, Burgermeister and I would give Hero a 7 to 7.5 rating, or 2 1/2 mmm's. (mm mm m?)

Unfortunately, it does seem to depend on location. I think that they may have over-franchised, and this has caused a decline in quality. For now, I am going to reserve my burger eating for

smaller, less famous joints.

http://www.heroburgers.com/